Saturday, September 02, 2006
5:21 PM
didn't update for don't know how long.never bother to go and count how many days i have no been blogging.many things happen and going on.bad news have lots than good news but i think i can't even find any good news to say?or maybe should i say i'm back to single,nobody control me and i'm just back to myself and gonna study hard for my N's level for now.happy that i pass my prelim for three subjects only.eoa and maths haven't take yet.next monday and tuesday going back to school though is holiday for everyone but those who take N's or O's level have to go back just to take exams.
bad news is i break up and alot of unexpected things happen.but i decide and choose this decision so i won't regret for what i have done and decide.i choose to be alone for a moment and wants to be myself.thanks for those people who are always there for me no matter where i am,sad or happy.i appreciate for what you guys have been doing for me and i'm very happy to know you guys as my friends,my love.thanks
long stories to say but i still say it out to those which wants to know and thanks for advice too.is better being alone and being independent.i know i can do it and i believe you can do it too and you will do it well.maybe this is not the time but i believe you will get use to it.whoever you are.i believe you will do it when you really wants to do but don't ever regret for what you have decide and going through.if you really regret there's always still hope and a change for you.but of cause not everything u can decide for yourself.but if somethings you really can change than why not just change it?but somethings really do need times to change it.like me!=]]
i willing to take time being alone and see what to do.but i know now i'm going to be alone and like who i like and study hard for my N's level.other than i shall leave it away.
i know i'm torturing alot of people who wants me to give them a chance.but i'm so sorry.especially rayven.what you have done for me i'm very touch.not everything a person can do it.so what i have say to you is not trying to hint you or what.i know that i hurt you by saying i would rather fion to send me to school.but somethings just can't get it right and i'm just stating the fact.if your hearts there,you done it long ago.i didn't blame you for what you never do as the same by what fion did.but i'm still happy that what you have done for me for the past years.i will repay for what i have too.but i guess you get affected by it so maybe i should stop doing those which i shouldn't do and maybe it can make you give up since you want it to be?sometimes i really don't know what to do than is right but i know nobody can do it so well and perfect.sometimes,really feel that i've suffer myself alot because i know what i do,it will happen.stubborn people like me will just makes their life sucks.really think whether know so much things is good anot?feel that being mature is a bad thing.why can't i just be stupid abit and maybe somethings will not happen and i don't have to stress up.
thanks charlotte,ones use to be my dear and everything.but we are over.i know you are trying to turn things better but guess i think i'm making the things bad.i know you are trying you best not to make me frustrated,i guess i'm still frustrated and nothing much change?i don't know whether will i still want to patch anot.i seriously got think not to repeat the same history with the same person because i find that it will only makes tow person suffer if drags for years like my ex and me.both of us are over and guess she's very happy without me in her life and she have a wonderful stead just in her life and is hers.anyway,if patch things maybe gets better but i choose not too because my heart is not yours and no longer just yours.my heart have someone else and i would rather being alone and stay single and don't want to have any stead for now.if i really have any stead,i know i will hurt the person and never give the person happiness and why not just be friends?nobody can predict the future so i can't too!maybe future do let me choose back the same person if not other people?life is just a game and is depends whether how good can be handle it ourselves.love is always just so weird that do makes people happy and hurt.i find that this age no true love?or should i say that i don't know how to handle my relationship.i should say i'm just too flirt why not just being alone?i would rather be with the person with no status maybe in future?i would wants to be faithful?to the someone i like now but no one else?i know i'm unfaithful!or maybe i'm only faithful to who i start to love?i seriously want to have a relationship that is happy and can really last long.maybe i shall decide this frwenly?hahas =x
anyway,i'm strong so those who are worry for me can don't worry for me so much.i'm just who i am and i never do anything foolish.so don't worry and will meet up you guys some other time.i think i going to stay at home just to study hard.i have been slacking since yesterday when i say i going to chiong for my studies.gosh.what am i doing?i shall not use computer and phone much and i really going to study?will update some other time when i'm free.
L0VE Y0U GUYS S0 MUCH AND THANKS T0 TH0SE WHICH L0VE ME S0 MUCH T00.MUACKS =]]*
anyway,thanks for your explaination and sorry for accusing.treating me for who i am.
