Wednesday, April 25, 2007
8:54 PM
before i get out of my house.lie to mum say i going school.is going to 2pm.she say you still wanna go school ar?don't need go already.end up,i told her say i go mac.they going out work than call me.cause she hang out clothes and want them to be dry.
went to meet her at mac.end up she never study can.
she say she forget to bring the book that she need to study.end up i bought orange tea and fries to eat.so sad,that she cannot eat.because she's sick!!!!!!!!!!!haha =x
she got flu and throat pain.haha.serve you right.is you don't wanna listen to me.call you not to eat sweets.and you eat sweets for the whole day today you bloody hell.was eating fries half way,she called me again.she say where are you.i say i at mac,haven't go home.she say you wanna wait until rain than go home ar.i say no la.going home soon.that idiot so bloody noisy la.people studying than she chat on the phone with her friends and she laugh bloody loud.bth her can.she eat med and was damn tired.after eat finish we went back home.she went to sleep and i was on the computer checking things and chatting with klaron.she ask me along to meet her,eunice and a girl.don't know who.but i didn't meet them.after that,i went to my brother room rest.she suddenly came into my brother room.she sit on the chair very long.don't know what she doing.i went out of the room she still inside.i was on the computer again.called her out of that room.went to my room and wanted to sleep.haha.but i didn't so does she i think.i went into my brother room again,listen songs and writing somethings.i keep go in and out my room to take things.gave her the letter that i owe her.think she got read,after that she suddenly like ghost flying here and there.haha.scary =x she on her music quite loud and both of us blust the whole house.she whole day never eat and she lazy to cook and she still tell me say she not hungry.i call her cook maggie herself.guess she's waiting for me to cook.but i didn't.think she's too sad =x sorry.she stay at my house until 7pm.accompany her go and buy newspaper.accompany her until central to buy because my house downstairs sell finish already.end up she walk underpass to go home and i return home myself.suddenly stomach pain.don't know why.reach home,eat fish after that went to bathe.when i was bathing that time.i realise alot of things and i think about that show again.
when i think about that show,i realise love a person can be very happy and can be very miserable.that guy really love that woman.but that woman don't have feeling already.even if they got back together that woman won't be happy and she no longer have feeling for him.she return back to him is because that guy keep her baby away from her and hide the baby.end up,that guy know that even if he get that woman,he can't get her feeling back anymore.because whatever he do,he's forcing that woman and just because he love that woman and want back that woman.but is too hard to turn back everything.after that woman don't love him,and he keep force her to be together with him.that woman was totally so scare of him and even when he touch her she felt so scare.whenever she see him,she really felt so scare.he's too scary and just because of love.nobody can trust him anymore due to his bad actions and the mistake that he done just because he wants to protect that woman and he do so much evil things.end up,he died because he lose everything and he cannot turn back.even if he live,he's life is meaningless because he cannot be with the woman that he love and he will never get that child.actually,i was scare of you* i'm really sorry this is why i tell you i scare to meet you cause i know you will touch me.maybe what sharon say was right that my feeling is fade that's why i'm kinda sensitive or maybe scare that you touch me.i will feel uncomfortable.let us be alone especially you.i know is hard for you to accept me as your friend and treating me as your friend only.i know you still love me and want me back.but i'm sorry.i don't wish to treat you badly.still,i want you this friend.thanks for everything that you have done for me.i hope whenever i need you,you will be there for me.take care.12:31 PM
today,
never attend to school again.hehe
lie to my mum say i going school later.because if i say i'm not going she will nag again.i wake up around 11plus.told her say i going to school from 1-530 =x going mac to meet jiayu later.she also never attend school but she really sick and she got see doctor.going to meet her and she going to study and i going to read comic.hehe.don't feel like going la.
yesterday night went to meet duncan awhile after that talk to wendi on the phone quite long.sorry to neglect you my dear.because she and yungzhi something happen.that yungzhi also another one.jealousy too strong.is a bad thing.misunderstanding always comes and they will always quarrel.after that,yungzhi call me and we chat.finally he's awake and both of them know what's going on and what both of them have to change.in a relationship love a person willing to change for the person.but if the person really change is a good thing even thou they are not in the relationship.wendi also at fault but well,she don't find that she do la.even if is me.especially girls.always don't find that they are in the fault.haha.after chat with yungzhi,called wendi to called my phone and three of us chat and talk things out everything.end up,they called each other and chat on the phone.because i'm busy doing my things that's why i hang the call.really hope they will last long.find that libra girls quite hard to handle. =x but not karling.haha.she also libra.
well,i choose to meet her than rather meet you is because even if i know you are free i also don't wanna meet you.firstly,i don't want you travel.second you already say at night you going meet your friend.u also need to attend school at 6-7pm.the whole afternoon you are free.i already ask you if wanna meet at night you already say you meeting your friend.so even if you are free i also won't come and meet you.when i'm free you are not free cause you need to attend school.than never mind.i never attend school is because i don't wish to go and because she never attend school and she can come out that's why we meet up.i know this excuse is hard for you to take it but i don't want people to travel down just to meet me if they are staying far from me.
tomorrow going attend to school. =x hehe.i will go.confirm man.after that,meeting casper in school because she meeting her friend in my school to eat.actually i finish school at 1.her friend break time was 12-1.but i finish school at 12.don't know why timetable suddenly change from 8-12.was actually 9-1.don't know where to go.maybe coming back home.need her help to do my computer.friday,going reach home before 3.because that mio plan than they going fix things at my house.Tuesday, April 24, 2007
7:57 PM
i just reach home not long.
think that duncan not feeling well.alone at home resting watching tv now.
went to eat hebel chicken soup.never eat rice.so full.the food never digest!!!!
on my way there,i feel like crying.i suddenly think about yesterday show.
and i think about the relationship i have.that guy died.after that her daughter cecil died.due to operation is not successful.hais.so sad.that girl so pretty and cute and active.the guy died is because no matter what that girl will not return to him.somethings just can't turn back when you left a bad record there.so sad.well,the show finish already. =(((((((((((((((
guess,i'm too bored that's why i keep blogging.wanted to tell my dad say i don't want study just now but i didn't.grandma was there too.she suddenly come up our house.don't know why.than she come along with us after eating they bought durian and i called daddy to buy mango for me.i love mango. <3 muacks ="]]*">brother went out with friends to play basketball.so tired still keep stay out late.don't know him.bloody idiot him.so rude of him.bloody hell!!!!!!!!!!!1:42 PM
today,
wake up at 7am.wanted to go school.after school wanted to go swimming with duncan.
but i damn lazy to pack and i'm also tired.so never attend to school.after that,it rain.so nice to sleep at home.hehe.not going swimming already.duncan went out with her mum or aunt?i also forget.not sure whether meeting her anot.but i will be staying at home the whole day.
think later going to eat hebel chicken together with family.i'm bored.
well,i don't feel like studyingreally did think of continue study finish this course but now,i don't even wanna continue study.because is really a waste of time.everyday go school play and mark attendance.i wanna go work!!!nothing much to blog.
just miss and love ernie.muacks <3Monday, April 23, 2007
7:35 PM
wake up at 8.but i wake up at 83oam.
brother 8am suddenly wake up came into my room and tell me say his late and than how.
i tell him,than what?go school la.late cannot go meh.siao de.
wanted to go back sleep but can't so turn here and there until 830 than wake up prepare go to school.reach school around 10plus?not very late la.miss pam is not gonna take us for sports and wellness for quite long.she coming back on the 4th term.omg.gonna suffer in that bloody guy teacher.so rude of him.the way he talk like his the king of the world man.walk for two rounds thou he call us to run.never give a fuck about him.accompany ernie,meow meow and wendi to see section head.waited for more than one hour can.went to cafe 3 to eat while im waiting for three of them.eat two hashbrown and drink one cup of milo.so full can.end up wendi comfirm not changing course.after that,when to change back uniform and return back to class.slacking and listening songs.have lunch at 1-2pm.bought fruits and eat to digest.around 4plus feel hungry.from the time i reach and end school.stupid nicol keep shoot me like nobody business.damn pissed.argh.saw minmin photo.the one that he like.so funny.it have been 5months already.he never even talk to minmin thou he see her,he have to look on the floor and walk to pass by her.he say he peisei.please.you don't look like one.after school str8 go home,reach home watch tv after that went to bathe,came out eat two small bowl of porridge,eat fish and vegetables.so full.feel like sleeping.but i gonna watch tv until 11pm.the show so nice.that girl name cecil so cute and funny and pretty. <3>Sunday, April 22, 2007
3:51 PM
i don't know what's wrong with me.but still i choose to be alone.
i don't feel like stepping in any relationship now.i'm very happy for who i am.
i didn't always talk on the phone with her first than talk to you.but the fact that we are drift and even if i always talk on the phone with you did you even think that i talk to you more than i on the phone with her?is this called jealous?or you feel that i'm using you?seriously,if you really feel so than i got nothing to say.i just feel that we can't even talk as a friend.never mind.you just go your life and enjoy with your friends.
anyway,i saw your friendster profile.that punk girl name huiru.haha.have a fun day with her yesterday right.well,isnt that good.staying that happy.sharing all your happiness with you and your friends.your wearing change already.that's good.guess i gonna change my wearing soon.going to shop for clothes.haha.
m0rning wanted to meet duncan because wanted to help alston to do somethings.end up she never call me or message.i call her twice and msg her but she didn't reply at all.until 11plus going 12 she suddenly call me using work place phone.was kinda shock because i don't know who's the person so i ask who are you.she laugh at me la.stupid she.i was shock actually.haha.she told me say she reach home at 5am.she ar,,really don't know how to take care of herself and always get sick.get sick also don't know how to take care.
that sharon also.morning go swimming alone.now tired and leg keep pain.really don't know how to take care of herself.kinda worry for her.that charlotte also another one.tomorrow going start school already now having fever.she always know she cannot stay out so late always and keep continue stay outside so late than go home,eat those food that't unhealthy,every night sleep so late.at times,don't know why she wake up so early.after that,go out again.haiyo.you ar.
going to have dinner at 6plus.going new york to eat at amk hub.feel like shopping around.after eat dinner going to take cake and go home celebrate with brother.Saturday, April 21, 2007
5:41 PM
yesterday,
i sleep quite early.don't know why i'm so tired la.
i miss my dear meow meow sharon.hehe.take care yourself alright.i'm worry you okie.
sorry,tomorrow cant accompany you.tomorrow my brother birthday.think we going new york eat.not sure.there so many people.damn b0red.
today,
wake up damn late.i sleep until 1pm can.don't know what happen to me.don't know why so tired.think i going sick la.wake up not long,mummy and i went to mac.mac again.i going faint.but no choice.so went there eat.also don't know what to eat.sit there quite long.suddenly rain!was stuck at there.after rain stop,we walk to central.mum say wanna go giordano see clothes.end up,we stuck at there because i buy clothes.spent 100plus. =x haha.mum didn't know i was trying clothes and she go missing.haha.she came back to the shop than i try the clothes and show her.hehe.times fly so fast.after buy clothes is already 4:20pm!!!!!!!she haven't buy 4D.haha.faster see brother birthday cake and she went to buy 4D.the number. 1748.i don't find that the no. is a good number can.read in chinese like you go die ba.haha.reach home around 5pm.meet duncan awhile after that come home.bloody brother really pissed me off.after that,i talk to him and put words in front to him already.don't wanna talk much to make myself so angry like i'm boiling hot water so hot.going to have dinner together with grandma and aunty lily later to eat.i can't eat la.g0sh.damn full.haven't shit out anything.Friday, April 20, 2007
3:43 PM
today,
wake up at 7am.
i think m0rning dad shouted.i thought he shout because he drink too much and he was dreaming.i didn't know anything and i kinda scare is because he always shout whenever he's not in the good mood.at times,don't know when his in good mood.he always act in front of me and brother like nothing happen.scary man.
i wake up that time,he was not at home.kinda weird.because he wont wake up so early just to go work. =x
went to take bus to interchange and change 24 bus to school.from the time i step into the bus 24 until i get down the bus.those bloody idian guys keep on that bloody idian songs until very nosiy.didn't sleep well in the bus.was kinda headache plus that bloody songs of theirs and they early morning got so much things to talk about.arghs.after that,i start to stomach pain la.bloody hell.reach school suddenly not pain.after that,reach class.stay inside awhile.went to toilet and shit it out,bth man.yesterday,purposely called daddy to help me cut watermelon to give me eat and to digest my food.after that,nicol come and disturb us again and kana shoot again.haha.so funny and he's very cute to disturb la.he was like asking wendi for tissue paper.wendi keep ask him what's her name?he don't wanna say and he ask anne what's wendi name.she never even bother him at all.damn funny.me and wendi keep laughing.after that,he ask ernie what's wendi name,ernie thought he ask whether what's anne name.than she say anne.end up,he took wendi pencil box and don't want return her because wendi never give him tissue paper.they are so lame and funny.end up,fazli give him.the tissue was not open.after that,nicol go back and disturb wendi say i want yours but not his.because yours is open but his tissue paper is not open.after that,i shoot him back.he got nothing to say.he's getting weird actually.look at us than say hi.going back home say bye.suddenly so polite.that's not him man.went for break.but there's no food at all la.so i only eat two hotdogs and one cup of milo until afternoon.kinda hungry.after school went to tamp to buy fries,share with wendi when we were waiting for bus 22 to go amk together.yz accompany her went to meet her friends.so sweet.hope both of them last long.both of them.such a stubborn idiot.haha.went to cut hair.after that,str8 go home.ask mum why daddy shout our name.after that,than i know he not feeling well.sorry!he went to see doctor himself.hais.we cant do anything.bloody brother still come home after that went out and enjoy playing.he have been out so late everyday.unlike me.last time also never come home so late like how he do.getting hard to handle him.well,hack care.after bathe come out still so hot.stupid weather.the weather is so hot la.the tap water become warmth water can.bth la.went to cook mushroom soup to drink.so full.not gonna eat dinner already.lucky mum got drink abit.if not i don't think i can finish.i think she drink also not alot.but seriously the soup is alot for one serving.
charlotte wanted to meet me but i already on my way back to amk already.so didn't meet up.she's enjoying eat her sushi again.i miss eating sushi too.haha.but i wont eat much like how i use t be.
wanted to meet duncan but she's out with alston and qx.she kinda pissed off by them because they took very long to prepare la.haha.guess she's outside enjoying with them
jiayu,having oral now.haha.from 1plus until 4plus already.finally her turn.kinda funny when i disturb her.kinda entertain her because she's too bored.hope she do well. =]]Thursday, April 19, 2007
2:52 PM
today,
never attend to school.
the alarm never wake me up i guess.i not sure.damn blur.i'm tired too.
no matter how much i sleep is still the same.haha.i know i'm a piggy <3
mum thought i go to school.was surprise that i'm still on the bed.
wake up around 11plus.meet duncan to eat.she going work at evening.so meet up to have lunch.
i know people must be saying me say why i meet her but don't wanna meet anyone.well,i yesterday blog say i don't want people to travel.the person i miss is duncan.but of cause i do miss you guys out there.so don't anyhow think.at home reading comic,listening to songs.that's my day.keep resting at home.lying here and there like pig.well,take care everyone out there. =]]
leon,i'm fine.don't worry.whatever i blog is nothing.i just kinda tired.but i'm fine.so yup.<3
yesterday,very tired.but still i write something.hmmm.really still thinking should i really put down everything and go for a new life with a new person.being a friends of you guys.my good friends always?i know both of you will change for me and try to give me everything.well,i just don't wish to bother much.i don't know how long i need to be alone.i rather be alone than to talk to people.hehe.sorry.don't misunderstanding my sentence by don't talk to people.in school never talk much to people.kinda emo?haha.but i'm alright.just wanna be quiet. =]]
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
5:44 PM
today,wake up at 830am
took bus to interchange after that take 24bus to school.
was sleeping in the bus.saw eugene.desmond brother if im not wrong.
i was late for class?reach school that time,look up.those students haven't go into the class.
i thought teacher will be later than me but when i reach level 6 everyone is in the class already.well,im not really late too la.nothing to do in the class.the whole day in school really a waste of time la.the bloody teacher teach i don't even understand what the fuck she teaching.mind my language.kinda not in the good mood today because i feel tired and i really dislike this course but i can't stop studying and i don't know what my dad want me to do.i know study this kinda things nothing will goes smooth for everyone but i really just can't get into this course and im not interested at all.morning,minkai came and talk to me.sorry for my attitude.i this few days won't be in a good mood.so yup.just don't have to bother me.i will be fine la already.just go do your things. =]]
after that,we have lunch at 12.still the same,cafe one and those other cafe alot of people.so we went to third level to have our lunch.eat fried rice n one egg.quite full.after that,went back to class.was listening songs the whole period.never do anything cause i totally don't understand.that nicol took my book to study and write in my book.let him be.since i also never study.well,he's a clever kid.after that,ernie actually not going to pie lesson cause she wanted to go hospital.but end up she never go and she go pie.wendi keep ask me whether wanna go pie lesson anot.i say if ernie going than i'm going.after wendi keep asking than saleha ask me.i got irritated and say don't keep ask already.i already say ernie going than i'm going la.really got pissed.wendi keep ask is because if yungzhi don't feel like going.but he still go because of wendi.haha.they really look like couple.hope things goes smooth for both of them.went to pie.waiting for teacher and saw minmin.haha.nicol lover.he like her.didn't really look at that girl because when that girl turn her head and walk away than nicol say minmin.haha.he's blush.so funny.today,finish quite early.actually end school at 530 but teacher let us off at 4pm.str8 took bus went back to amk.sleep in the bus again.yawn.till now still haven't eat.
well,i miss you* (don't wild guess) gonna see you tomorrow.
i don't want you guys to travel down to find me.so is okie.give me a break too.i don't know why i'm so tired also.so i'm sorry to casper and leon.you guys are tired too.especially you my dear casper.
i know you miss me.you told me already.i understand how you feel.though i say im not gonna meet both of you this week,i really don't know when i'm gonna meet you guys.i feel tired.just wanna come home rest after school.take care <3Tuesday, April 17, 2007
5:50 PM
today,
surprising i will wake up early.i wake up at 630 can.i yesterday night sleep at 1am i think.was watching tv until 1230.
went to school in the morning doing nothing la.was using ernie phone to listen songs,use yungzhi phone to play game but after that use his phone to send themes.quite cute.hehe.i know i'm still a kid.after that,went for break but we all never eat.just went to buy some snacks to eat.after that,went for lunch.that christopher keep contact me.say he's alone an he's b0red.after that,he meet me for like 5mins than he went off.don't know what he want.haha.the whole school is damn pack and we don't know where to eat cause don't have space to sit.end up,we went out of the school to go bedok there to eat.reach school,we was late for class.shouldn't have go back class cause i don't even understand what the hell the teacher teaching.and i tried my best to do the thy test.but still i fail.sorry my dear.(don't anyhow guess)i seriously,wanna give up this course and i really don't understand what the fuck the teacher talking and teaching la.damn irritated by it.well,daddy call me continue study for this course.damn shit.going to tell him say i fail.gonna really think what i wanna study.find that he's wasting his money and wasting my time.i seriously don't feel like studying also la.after school str8 went back home.reach home around 5pm.online chatting and watching tv.alone at home.bored man.but still,i rather stay at home. =]] hehe.Monday, April 16, 2007
7:53 PM
i read your blog when im in school.
well,i know you wake up early because of me.seriously,you never come to my school is a good decision.this april intake really alot of people.the whole school is very pack can.
this few days will be have orientation and this april intake people is much more than january intake people.that christopher call me when i having pe lesson.after that,when i having lunch i think he call me?don't remember.he was at business block.after eating didn't return his call and go back to class.first day of school,kinda b0red.whole day was like keep using computer online chatting,playing games.well,that bloody nicol really pissed me off man can.i damn angry with him and never bother about him.after that,he come and disturb me,wendi was beside me only.than both of us shoot him.eugene,can you stop talking about martin in front of me.damn pissed with that guy and even i hear and see his name really turn me off.i really never look at him.but funny was martin took business man bag throw in the dustbin,after that he put another side and he crawl back and he hit his head.me and wendi laugh like shit.after that,wendi also bored.so she use computer,paint to draw a guy.i tell her say that guy look like nicol.he put gay,s hole and that's nicol.we keep laugh la.really laugh us die.he keep shoot me.after that,he wanna shoot me i shoot until he laugh and keep quiet.finish school go to tm and top up my card after that took 22bus go back amk.because ernie going back together with me.drop down the same bus stop as her after that,change bus to go home.went home,nobody was at home.alone at home.reach home ard 6plus-7pm.just bathe come out not long.
take care yourself and all the best to you for your test and take care yourself when you having trging. <3>
now you having trging take care yourself on your way home.
sorry but i really need to rest and this whole week i'm not gonna meet anyone.sorry my dear leon and casper.and please.both of you take care of yourself.casper,you better recover than you can meet me.i don't care.leon,things will goes smoothly for you.i know you don't bother everything.well,you have to settle everything one day.give yourself a break =]]
i'm here always <3>
Sunday, April 15, 2007
6:34 PM
the only thing that i can say is.i going to put down everything to really think who i really love and wanna be with.both of you have been pushing me around.i didn't blame and i already expected it will be happen already.whatever is going on.is my decision i know.but i really enough for what you guys say.so i decide to put down everything and restart everything myself.but still,we are friends. <3
i may choose either one of you and maybe no.i should be deciding whether who to be with because i do have feeling for both for now.but i put everything down.everyone do give each other a chance to change and do.is depends whether who can win my heart and is also depends who i really love.that's it.
whatever i wanna say is here.i don't wish to talk about it anymore.i'm still sorry to both of you.take care <3
2:37 PM
tomorrow going back to school already.
kinda b0red and don't feel like going back to school.
eugene thought i don't like our class.but is not la.i just don't feel like continue study this course.but still,i have to finish this course i guess.hais.
well,this few days happen alot of things.nothing good la actually.haha.
i find that,when you* with me.i don't find that you are happy.the happy is having fun and is totally different whenever you with your friends and me.but you are not who you are.i find that,when you with your friends,i believe it is more crazy and that's you i guess.you scare to face consequences together with me.i know you scare to make me angry and quarrel with me.whenever we quarrel i realise both of us use vulgarities to each other.well,maybe is because the people around you mix or somethings i don't know.but i don't use vulgarities when i quarrel already.everything need times to change.i don't wish to stress you up because i know when you with me,you will change.you and your friends will not be that close anymore.you have to be two person whenever you with me and your friends.just be yourself.i don't wish you to repeat my history.when i was sec2 till sec3 i change alot.when a person change mature can't stand the people out there childish and we will think more than them.your age now,if i make you think alot.whatever things you do you will think before you decide to do anything.unlike your friends.it will be hard to communicate with your friends unless you influence them.is hard for them to accept the way you are.they will dislike me for what i have done to you and make you change and you will lose your friends.everything can't handle properly.you must know that.whatever you do,what's the out come?guess you are not sure about that.for you,you finds that you are devoted to me and you finds that you really love me is because everything starts from me.i make you realise somethings that you never go thru before.when you with charlotte and with me totally cannot compare.with her* you are still a passive.with me now you are a bung.everything change and can't compare.a bung have to think more than a passive do.whatever i say here,is the fact and it will be going on.i wanna let you know is because i don't mind whatever going on and i can go thru all this but is you.whether can you go thru everything and to accept everything.because i know is very hard for you to decide.there's no choice but you have to think.if you really don't wish to think i also won't force you.almost everyone waiting for things to come and to think what to do.i don't deny i'm one of them at times.somethings even though we know what will happen but somethings will stil change and that's the things that we never expected.everyone do deserve a chance.nobody is perfect i know.since i can give people chance i'm gonna give you too.at times,i seriously don't really like the way you reply like yesterday.to you,you finds that is all because of charlotte who are the one who telling me everything to turns everything to become like that.i didn't blame charlotte is because there's one day i need to be awake to settle everything between me n her and you.i know you done nothing wrong and we didn't mean to pull you into the picture.but the fact that you have to know what happen.charlotte thinks alot whether wanna tell you anot.well,she message you that time i really don't know until she called me.whatever she message you she did tell me and i approve that than she message you.to you,you find that she lecture you.but the fact that,somethings she type to you i don't know until at night she told me about it.both of you can't accept the way both of you talking about it.at that moment you must be thinking why i'm not the one who telling you personally.i wanted to pass you the letter but now don't have too.the day i wanted to pass you letter is the day i wanna settle everything.i'm prepare whatever out come.whatever i say here,i'm honest and the day i wanna be with you i really wish to stay one and only one.but still i thought that i could be strong like charlotte and being independent.but i'm not after i see charlotte change suddenly.everyone do have a habit.when a person change you will feel weird.when charlotte change that moment seriously i feel damn hurt.you wanna know why that few days i can't sleep well and keep crying.whatever you read in this blogg is whatever happens to me and going on and bother about me.
charlotte,at that time when i know you message her* nothing can change already.what have done is already done.i'm the one who are suppose to talk and tell her everything but not you.but since you already start that's why i approve.i didn't blame you is because there's no point to blame when is already done.now important is whether who to choose.i know both of you are devoted.i understand how you feel charlotte.chances have been giving you alot.since i can give you chance i can give her* chance too.but i seriously i didn't treat anyone as a spare tyre.i know i can't have two.i also know is hard for me to give up either one.i did really think of giving up for both.i find that she* done nothing wrong and she do deserve a chance from me.i did think of going back to you* but still everyone do have fears and the fears is there.i don't know how long i need to change if i really with you.i really can't stand the way we quarrel at times.i know everything starts from me and i shall end it myself.i'm thinking of giving up both and put down the past and get a new life and forget everything and go with a new person.but still what holds me on was her* is because we just know not long.you will think that i'm rushing in a relationship because of what we have done.but that day i decide to break off with you i really don't intend to go back the past.you have been suffering in this one month plus.not only you but me too.as i say whether i do or never give you a chance three of us still will get hurt.we have miss alot of things and chances to be together.everything stop us being together actually but you say is not.everything is mind game as you say.both of us thought that somethings we do we can be back.but both of us are wrong.the things that we are holding back and the things that we do and make each other feel that we are moving on.but actually we are still holding back.i know problems lies on me.even you say you can wait and everything but you already say you are tired and you already tried so hard in this month.somethings i hope but i don't wish.since you have been suffering lots in this one month.it shows that even if we are together is for sure that i wont stay one and only one.even if she's* not the one,there will still be other people and it will be the same and i really need time to stay one and only one to you.you say is fine with you but i know is not to me.i know i'm treating you* very unfair.i know you love me and you can do anything for me like no one can replace you.you treat me more like a mother.the age between you* and her* can't even compare.me and charlotte do think lots than you* that's because our age and the things that we are facing.there's alot of things is going different.i don't know how to explain to you but everyone have to go thru things around our age.
whatever i type here,you* and her* will push me to each other.charlotte choose to step out is because she ask me a question.do i love her.i can't even answer her that's because the fear is there and when she ask me if i love you.i say yes.whenever i with you i don't know why my feeling is strong and happy.but the fact the i with you maybe we both are avoiding somethings especially me.everyone lifes won't be going smoothly.i getting don't understand what's love.maybe is getting numb or somethings.but the fact that i do still have feelings.yesterday i really think about it.guess the answer still can't come out.yesterday night chat with charlotte.is all i type here.all is here.this sentence i'm gonna say here is quite unfair to charlotte but i'm stating the fact.if i give you a chance to being with you* even if we break up.if i really go back to charlotte,i never treat you as a spare tyre before.if the day,you never give me chance that's it.i will continue.i just saying if.there's a possible but nobody knows include me.i damn headache yesterday and i really can't take it.
sharon is damn cute la.the meow meow.haha. <3
choose her better =x well,that's impossible.i didnt regret having you as my friend.
we are close and get along well.she always be there for me too.thanks my dear.hehe.take care.i miss you so much.shall meet up some other day.
Friday, April 13, 2007
8:52 PM
today,whole day at home.
meet duncan around 12pm to go downstair eat.
after eating,she came to my house and she use my house computer well i took her phone and play games after that read comic.around 215pm she went back home and prepare to go to work.
around 245 jiayu came to my house.so funny.duncan and jiayu bump together when she on my way to my house.because duncan message me,after that jiayu reach my house than she tell me say she saw duncan.i say i know.haha.so funny.
we whole day at home,my bloody brother keep disturb me and keep give me alot of problems to do.damn fuck up man.damn angry with him.kinda fierce to him after that than he quiet.went to bathe after that he start his nonsense again.
my parents just got back home not long.jiayu went back around 8pm.haha.
i whole day only eat carrot cake together with duncan till now i still haven't eat.
lazy to cook to wash and to eat.hehe. =x Tuesday, April 10, 2007
1:46 PM
wake up around 815.call that piggy duncan to wake up.
she's sick but she still have to work.she gonna be busy like the past again.well,that's life.she have to take care of herself.hope she do take care of herself when she's working. =]]
meet her for breakfast,after that she went to work.i come back home,now at home.will be at home the whole day i guess.not going out.be god at home. =]]
quite b0red.but that's life.never go out with wendi and ernie because ernie cant make it in the afternoon well me and wendi can.ernie can only make it at night but wendi cant.
my dear ernie.stop blaming yourself alright.is ok.we understand.i never angry with you okie.but since can't than never mind.stil have chance thou.
i come mense,so pain la.argh.woman are like that.no matter how much we complain is still the same,it wont be gone.
TAKE CARE everyone out there =]]Monday, April 09, 2007
12:22 PM
7th april,saturday
actually,nothing much.wanted to meet leon cause she wanna meet me but she not feeling well so didn't meet her.after jy finish her trging than she meet me at my house opp mac.was stuck at there from 3plus till 7pm.it was raining so heavily.she went back home than charlotte came central to meet me to have dinner.i accompany her.she wanted to eat sushi but she lazy to Q so we went to mac.she eat.i never eat.i had mac for my lunch and dinner man.so full.slack around my house there after that i went home.
8th april,sunday
morning daddy call my phone wake me up.he call me at 6.o6am man.
i was thinking how come he will call me,thought he at home.damn tired la.
bloody shit.he call me wake up go mac buy food.i drag my brother along and took me for 15mins.when we going out my dad call and say don't go buy.so irritating can.i tell him say that we want eat.call him drive in to mac than go cck to sao mu.he call us go 133 coffee shop find him.sit down there quite long.don't know why call us down so early.and keep drag time la.those idiots.wasting our time.reach there quite late.daddy always reach cck very early.after sao mu,reach home around 9plus i think.bloody brother.early morning keep disturb me and wanna quarrel with me.bloody hell him.so angry with him and give him face but he still play like nobody business and think he still feel so proud for what he have done man.my cousin went to our house.grandma return home.my another cousin went to buy things together with daddy.end up never come our house.around 11plus they went to grandma house to eat.mummy sleeping.i went to prepare and went out to changi together with jy.she wanna go there.so accompany her.meet her that time,both of us reading comic.she kinda influence by me.reading comic.sleeping in the bus.really very tired.reach there,went to the viewing mall.nothing.quite bored.replying letter.after that i feel hungry than went to eat pasta.walking around airport.went back to terminal 1 to another viewing mall.sit down there quite long.wanted to sleep but she keep make me laugh.we keep laugh like crazy.i keep bully her. =x i know i very naughty.hehe.went to take bus around 5plus?reach amk interchange ard 7plus.take bus go home.lazy to walk and i very tired.i sleep in the bus.so does she i think.haha.reach home,eat vegetables and daddy heat the otah and give us eat.wen to online around 8plus.offline around 11plus.was chatting with friends.after that,leon chat with me and ask me where i go today.she was at expo with jl.so near.haha.yesterday quite early sleep.today wake up quite late.i very tired i think is because that few days never sleep well.i'm gonna stuck at home for a few days again.can be god at home.hehe.tomorrow night will be having dinner with wendi and ernie.yeah.will be at home the whole day today. =]]Friday, April 06, 2007
11:29 PM
yesterday,wanted to meet casper but she make me wait for quite long and tell me say that she's not coming cause she's sick.well,i didn't blame her.i meet leon before i meet casper.well,leon actually meeting jiale but end up jiale went to city hall study together with her friend so both of them didn't meet up.after casper say she can't meet me than we went home.leon went to my house and teach me somethings that i don't know in the computer.hehe.she not feeling well and i keep disturb her and don't allow her to sleep.after she teach me than i allow her to sleep.she eat med and went to my room to sleep.the way,she sleep so cute and she smile when she sleep.should have take her picture. =x hehe.when i want to sleep that time she suddenly wake up.so i didn't sleep and we chit chat until 6plus going 7.my brother suddenly come back.actually,we both wanted to eat porridge but don't habe already so i only buy vegetables and steam egg to eat.that's my dinner. =]] send leon to take bus but she lazy so accompany her to take cab.we waited for cab for half an hour because got one uncle damn rude and just snatch cab.leon scold bad words.she getting hot temper don't know since when.hope she will be fine.she took cab home,me n my brother go back home together but after that,went home.daddy went to cook maggie for mum to eat and he cook wanton soup and we eat. =]] i love prawns.
today,went out wit jy.yesterday midnight something happen and i don't wish to talk about it but i really disappointed in you,i really think alot and did affect by what happen yesterday night.i really damn tired about everything and i yesterday damn tired.i cry 9hours for three days.i sleep at 4am and wake up at 11am.yesterday night wanted to sleep around 2plus but they disturb me until 3 than sleep.that bloody girl really alot of vulgarities and whatever she scold she's scolding her own parents and herself cause i guess she don't even know whatever she scold she don't even know what's the meaning.well,hack care.cause they are childish and i'm damn tired until i really got no interest to bother much or even talk much to her cause i just wanna waste her phone bill.actually,whatever she scold it doesn't affect me.alot of people call me give up on her cause she's hopeless and i guess this time i gonna stop care about her and just take it as i don't know her anymore cause i had try my best to do everything for her.but she choose her way her life.that's her and nobody can control of her cause she get influence very easily especially the bad one.wake up at 10plus going 11 i think.mum yesterday get to sleep late than me today wake up so early.don't know why.9am can hear her voice.she quarrel with my brother until i wake up still talking about it.thought that my brother will accompany my mum but he keep bother about himself only.actually meet jy around 12plus but we meet around 2after that.accompany my mum eat.morning eat pepper lunch.so full can.after i eat i feel like puke.i always eat finish food i feel like puke.after that,i never eat lunch until dinner.went to watch movie.meet the robinsons.is a nice show. =]] after show from ps walk to esplanade.reach there already 7plus.stay there awhile after that took 70bus to yck.on my way parents call me.end up they pick me up at yck and we went to tpy to have dinner.my brother order 8chicken wings.each of us have four.that's my dinner.very tired already.think i gonna sleep early tonight.anyway,i feeling better already i guess.thanks leon,charlotte and friends out there. =]] good night <3Wednesday, April 04, 2007
7:36 PM
today,whole day i'm at home.
wanted to go daddy office to help him out but he's not feeling well so i'm at home the whole day,the weather today don't seems good.whatever,happens today i try not to think.
actually,i very angry today and my mood not very good.yesterday 4am than sleep.i cry cause i'm thinking of somethings.things going on really make me fcuk up.am i gonna be like the past smoke so much?drink?cut hand?just repeat everything.i know if i really do things it will still be the same.well,i still have to face it.is better not to drag but if i really repeat it makes me rest and seeing the blood flow out.the pain is not there cause it numb?i don't know and i don't bother.at times,i really feel like taking the penknife and just cut.haha.whatever,i blog today.i know people read people will ask.i know what i'm doing.don't have to worry.some people just have to leave them alone after that they will be fine?maybe i'm one of them?haha.who cares.
i sleep at 4 and i wake up at 9,10,11 am?i don't know why i keep wake up now a days.i didn't sleep well this few days,midnight will suddenly wake up.i don't know why.
went out with my mum to have breakfast until now i haven't eat my dinner and i don't intend to eat.i got no appetite to eat.in the afternoon message fion.she wanted to meet me but actually,i going to daddy office but i did not.and she's with her friends and suddenly she called me wait and a girl just took the phone.she say she's fion girlfriend.and so what big deal.does it show's that i even give a damn.and she say i don't like other girls to contact my boyfriend (fion).i didn't expect fion will have this kinda girlfriend.if i never call her i wont be bother this matter so much but in fact i really deal wrong number and guess i'm tired.i wanted to call jy but i don't know why i will deal fion number as people out there know that i'm a bloody blur queen.message always can press wrong number and send wrong people even i deal number also can't remember who i call.well,i'm very friendly and talking to her and she's bloody hell rude.guess,her parents didn't teach her any manners and even if her parents do,means her daughter is a fucking idiot.she say she born to be like that.i hear it i feel so upset for her parents that they got this kinda bloody daughter that's so young and don't find that what the fuck she have done is in the wrong.sorry if i keep scold fuck that's because that bloody girl really make me damn pissed about her bloody attitude when i done bloody nothing wrong.she keep take fion phone.seriously,fion change.she don't let people to take her phone if she don't want.when things happen already i don't know whether she bother to care but she never take back the phone and that bloody fcuking cb girl is taking her phone and read all the message and keep pick up the call.that girl don't even give fion freedom and keep control her life.first time i guess.that unreasonable girl treating her that way she also can take it?really don't look like the fion that i know.i didn't bother to talk much to that girl and i just message fion and telling her the fact and guess that bloody fcuking girl just can't take it the way i say her and i,don't even know who's that girl and since she find that is her than let her be.it show's that she's rude thats why she wanna say me.i don't wish to talk much with that childish girl so i hang up the call.her bloody age and what she have done she don't find that she's in the fault she wil say i don't dare to pick up the call but i just wanna stop the matter.so i don't bother what the fuck she think and say.she even call my house and whenever i hear her fucking voice really turns me off.after that,the unreasonable jy come attitude me and bloody fcuking things happen.we start to quarrel and i really damn fcuk up about everything and i just suddenly feel very tired and i don't feel like doing anything.whatever happens today is the past.that's all i can say and i'm gonna be alone.i didn't meet up anyone and i don't feel like going out.i just stay at home the whole day for two days already?haha.hack care.i'm seriously tired and i feel like sleeping but i just can't.Tuesday, April 03, 2007
1:45 PM
i don't know whether things are going right or wrong.
i don't feel like bother anything much.
i'm at home the whole day today.wanted to go out with ite friends.but ernie not free,wendi come mense.cant possible just ask me out with minkai.abit weird.two person go out.somemore,i don't go out with guy just only me and him.daddy call me go central quick cheque but till now i still stuck at home.lazy go.i don't go out alone too.will stay at home.guess,today my parents not working?the weather for today also not very good.
don't know if tomorrow still going out not.if not i'm gonna stay at home again.holiday kinda bored but still i love to stay at home to be a pig.sleep so late than wake up.keep online and listen songs.nothing better to do.
maybe somethings i'm still avoiding?but somethings i just dislike to bother because nobody gimmi chance at times.so why should i bother much.i know i treat some people unfair.well,i still know what im doing.maybe some people just cant accept the way i am.maybe this is why things turn out badly when im stubborn.well,everyone do things have their own reason.people might dislike.like how i dislike felicia doing now.but is her life,is my life too.we choose our way.whatever we do now,we don't feel regret.whatever happens.things turn out bad.we will be blaming ourselves?but i will never regret.even if i do,thats past.alot of things do affect me alot not only you guys out there.whatever hurt i get before,i maybe treating people unfair but comes to love.you will just love the person and treasure people around you.i'm doing it.but guess,i still hurt some people and some people hurt me too.somethings,i mayb think is simple well,i guess some people will think more than i do.what ever happens,i will still move on and live happy.felicia,i really wish you and your boyfriend last long but i really hope that you wont regret for what you have decide.seriously,i'm very angry for what you have done to tiff like how martin treat me.at that time,you are so clear that what you want and just because of a three days two nights guy everything just change.you just turn straight and just leave everything a side without thinking how do people feel and think.maybe this is call love,selfish.but is over.only you,yourself know it very clear that what you are doing but i find that at times you do things really very rash.you always repeat your mistake.i hope,this time what you have decide and choose is not a mistake.i may not know who the hell and what kind of person he is.i also don't feel like knowing.cause whatever i say now,guess is not important to you.to you,you will just follow your heart and go where it should be.i dont wish to know and quarrel with you and if i really know guess you also don't wish to know.because you are avoiding and hiding everything yourself.you just wana be with him long but nothing else.don't forget what you promise.this is the distance that we are having now.so you understand whenever i have girlfriend we will always have a distance.that's because you will put him as your first than to bother other things.you are making people hate/dislike you especially tiff.you treat her really unfair.you should know that.you get happiness and she get hurt.somethings is beyond your control.somethings you are in the fault,you should know.but what is done already done.when a person do a mistake.is hard for people to give a chance but when time pass.somethings change.the chance will just come to you.is depends whether you treasure it anot.that's all i want to say to you and some people out there include me,myself.
take care everyone.
