Wednesday, April 04, 2007
7:36 PM
today,whole day i'm at home.
wanted to go daddy office to help him out but he's not feeling well so i'm at home the whole day,the weather today don't seems good.whatever,happens today i try not to think.
actually,i very angry today and my mood not very good.yesterday 4am than sleep.i cry cause i'm thinking of somethings.things going on really make me fcuk up.am i gonna be like the past smoke so much?drink?cut hand?just repeat everything.i know if i really do things it will still be the same.well,i still have to face it.is better not to drag but if i really repeat it makes me rest and seeing the blood flow out.the pain is not there cause it numb?i don't know and i don't bother.at times,i really feel like taking the penknife and just cut.haha.whatever,i blog today.i know people read people will ask.i know what i'm doing.don't have to worry.some people just have to leave them alone after that they will be fine?maybe i'm one of them?haha.who cares.
i sleep at 4 and i wake up at 9,10,11 am?i don't know why i keep wake up now a days.i didn't sleep well this few days,midnight will suddenly wake up.i don't know why.
went out with my mum to have breakfast until now i haven't eat my dinner and i don't intend to eat.i got no appetite to eat.in the afternoon message fion.she wanted to meet me but actually,i going to daddy office but i did not.and she's with her friends and suddenly she called me wait and a girl just took the phone.she say she's fion girlfriend.and so what big deal.does it show's that i even give a damn.and she say i don't like other girls to contact my boyfriend (fion).i didn't expect fion will have this kinda girlfriend.if i never call her i wont be bother this matter so much but in fact i really deal wrong number and guess i'm tired.i wanted to call jy but i don't know why i will deal fion number as people out there know that i'm a bloody blur queen.message always can press wrong number and send wrong people even i deal number also can't remember who i call.well,i'm very friendly and talking to her and she's bloody hell rude.guess,her parents didn't teach her any manners and even if her parents do,means her daughter is a fucking idiot.she say she born to be like that.i hear it i feel so upset for her parents that they got this kinda bloody daughter that's so young and don't find that what the fuck she have done is in the wrong.sorry if i keep scold fuck that's because that bloody girl really make me damn pissed about her bloody attitude when i done bloody nothing wrong.she keep take fion phone.seriously,fion change.she don't let people to take her phone if she don't want.when things happen already i don't know whether she bother to care but she never take back the phone and that bloody fcuking cb girl is taking her phone and read all the message and keep pick up the call.that girl don't even give fion freedom and keep control her life.first time i guess.that unreasonable girl treating her that way she also can take it?really don't look like the fion that i know.i didn't bother to talk much to that girl and i just message fion and telling her the fact and guess that bloody fcuking girl just can't take it the way i say her and i,don't even know who's that girl and since she find that is her than let her be.it show's that she's rude thats why she wanna say me.i don't wish to talk much with that childish girl so i hang up the call.her bloody age and what she have done she don't find that she's in the fault she wil say i don't dare to pick up the call but i just wanna stop the matter.so i don't bother what the fuck she think and say.she even call my house and whenever i hear her fucking voice really turns me off.after that,the unreasonable jy come attitude me and bloody fcuking things happen.we start to quarrel and i really damn fcuk up about everything and i just suddenly feel very tired and i don't feel like doing anything.whatever happens today is the past.that's all i can say and i'm gonna be alone.i didn't meet up anyone and i don't feel like going out.i just stay at home the whole day for two days already?haha.hack care.i'm seriously tired and i feel like sleeping but i just can't.
